THE FALLING BIRTH RATE

Recently The New York Times op-ed columnist Ross Douthat, who happens to be Catholic, published a piece called “Is It Weird to Care About the Birthrate?”

“The deeper we get into a birth dearth,” he wrote, “the more dramatic the alteration required to come back up … a transformation in how the sexes relate to one another … a recovery of existential hope.”

To me this is a no-brainer. You don’t need to be a scientist, an expert in demographics, or a member of a particular political party to intuit that a globally falling birthrate cannot possibly bode well for future generations, or the future of the planet.

As is often the case, mine was the minority view. Yes, it’s weird, ran the vast majority of the comments. It’s creepy, it’s fascistic. This is just your totalitarian, patriarchal Church. We already have too many people, who are ruining the planet. If you want more people, let in more immigrants, you bigot.

“We all know where this ends. Forced pregnancy and forced birth.” 67 recommend.

“Pregnancy and childbirth are like being constipated for 9 months, and then finally having a massive, painful, risky, injury-inducing bowel movement from which it takes months to recover. Does that sound appealing to you? I thought not.” 52 recommend

“’Children are good, human beings are good…’ Quite the opposite is true. Human beings are, by nature, bad. They are hostile, violent, selfish, and destructive, and unable to live together without conflict.” 31 recommend

“I am so relieved that the populations are declining all over the world. I can proudly say I did not breed to contribute to the problem. I am very proud of that.” 20 recommend

Enter the compelling new Frontline documentary “Two American Families.” Tony and Terry Neumann (white) and Claude and Jackie Stanley (black) live in Milwaukee. The camera follows them for 30 years as they marry, raise families, try desperately to stay afloat financially, and age.

To their great credit, the film-makers steer clear of politics. We see the Neumanns (Catholic, three kids) and the Stanleys (evangelical Christians, five kids) attending church, but we don’t see how they vote. We see them eating with their kids, helping with homework, dropping them off at school, encouraging them to do chores.

But mostly we see them working. After having three kids and buying a house, Tony Neumann loses his relatively high-paying ($18 an hour) factory job and ends up on an $8.25/hour, no-benefits assembly line (night shift). Over the years he works various jobs as a machinist, and in his 60s, a handyman who has no desire (nor is he able financially) to stop working. We see Terry (sadly, she and Tony eventually separate), toiling away as a home health aide for the disabled, a commercial  truck driver, an armored car security guard. 

Claude Stanley, an ordained pastor, also gets laid off from a union factory job, and hustles to find a $7 an hour gig waterproofing basements. Jackie gets a real estate license but is blackballed from selling in pricier neighborhoods. Their three teenage sons form a lawn care service company, scrambling and scrounging for pocket money.

All the Neumann and Stanley kids grow up to be hard workers. Several now have kids of their own.

Keith, the eldest Stanley son, scrimps through to pay his college tuition, graduates and goes on to a series of executive jobs in nonprofit community development.

In a way, he’s the most successful of the group if by success is meant money, property, and prestige. Notably, he very consciously puts off having children. He’s watched his parents. He’s seen the price they’ve paid.

In his mid-thirties, he gets married and though everything has gone according to plan, we see his ambivalence. Life is more than work, he observes, but “I know it’s not just hard work that you need to succeed. Many times it’s about luck. It’s about who you know. It’s about your ZIP code.”

It may also be what master we choose to serve, deep deep down. His parents never amassed a nest egg nor moved out of their dicey neighborhood partly because they chose to sacrifice their lives, just as the Neumanns have for their kids.

“Two American Families” raises many more questions than it answers. What does it say about a culture, for example, when Jackie Stanley—a woman who has been married for forty years, raised five thoughtful, hard-working children; who is known and respected throughout the community for her family’s good works—thinks of herself as a failure?   

One NYT commenter bared his “progressive” fangs: “It’s only a problem when the dumbest people have the highest birthrate. This is sort of what is happening these days. All the smart countries have flat birthrates and it is very good for their quality of life.” 7 recommend

We’re all for immigrants, in other words; we just don’t want them to “breed.”

“It’s fascinating that there seems to be a developing anti-child movement,” one dissenting thinker observed. “An idea that if fully embraced by everyone would lead to the extinction of humanity.” 0 recommend

In fact, it will only lead to the extinction of those who hate life. The rest of the world—the workers, the unsung heroes—will continue, thank God, to have children.

And the meek shall inherit the earth.

Comments

8 responses to “THE FALLING BIRTH RATE”

  1. Amy Avatar
    Amy

    The perfect antidote to the comments on Ross’ article is Catherine Pakaluk’s recent book “Hannah’s Children: The Women Quietly Defying the Birth Dearth.” She’s a social scientist at Catholic U and interviewed over 50 women who had five children or more. Guess what she found? The women are happier, have great marriages, the husband is successful at work, and the list goes on!
    I also got stuck on the NYT comments. I have 8 children and feel like a stranger in a strange world. Thanks be to God!

    1. HEATHER KING Avatar
      HEATHER KING

      Thank you, Amy, the book sounds fascinating…it’s now on my For Later library shelf. From a sort of salvation history viewpoint, I feel as if we’re seeing the logical inevitable outcome (in an incredibly short period of time) of the whole notion of “birth control”…that culturally women–women!–are made to feel ASHAMED for having children! Everything has become commodified and politicized, including the very notion of existence…All these women who have children and then write books about how HORRIBLE motherhood is and what a terrible BURDEN the child is, and then of course become “influencers”…I keep thinking, My Lord, your child is going to READ YOUR BOOK one day…how terrible for him or her! Women seem to have been programmed, like robots, to spout anti-life vitriol, a situation as dire in its way as the one portrayed in “The Handmaid’s Tale.”

      Another book I’m thinking of is a memoir, I Found My Tribe by an Irish woman named Ruth Fitzmaurice. Nothing political at all in it, just a joyous embrace of the light, the darkness, and especially children. She and her husband alrady had three kids when he was diagnosed with ALS–they purposely tried for another pregnancy, knowing he was going to diminish and eventually die, and were overjoyed when Ruth turned out to be pregnant with twins. She’s not soppy, she’s super funny, she’s honest about the messiness and suffering, and her tribe is a group of similarly hardy, fun-loving women who periodically go swimming in the frigid Irish sea. Bless you and your own flock of eight, and bless all those mothers and fathers who do the heroic work of parenting and thus keep the world spinning on its axis. All will be well…

    2. Sarah Avatar
      Sarah

      Thank you, Heather. Sad commentary, but you left us with hope! I enjoy reading your blog for a thoughtful and often times, unique, perspective. I am still haunted by one you wrote over the summer after you watched the mothers and their children at the playground. Your choice to strive to live chastely is, indeed, not just for yourself but also for the benefit of those unknown children and for my 10 grandchildren.

      1. HEATHER KING Avatar
        HEATHER KING

        Just as you raising your children and grandchildren hugely benefits and radiates light and life to me, Sarah…so thank you–and yes, we must hope!

  2. Barbara Avatar
    Barbara

    Wow! Your conclusion blew me away and renewed my hope! Thank God for the people who have enough hope to have kids! My childhood was difficult and as a young adult I thought that anyone who could bring as little positive experience to mothering shouldn’t have kids so that they don’t have to go through what I went through. I had no hope. I’m glad that not everyone sees it the way I did.

    1. HEATHER KING Avatar
      HEATHER KING

      I felt that way, too, Barbara…so I at least partially understand the mindset…but how incredibly sad!…

  3. Melanie Poser Avatar
    Melanie Poser

    I watched that documentary. It was fascinating but sad. I live south of Milwaukee. Children change your whole life, it is no longer me but them. People are selfish now.
    “How can there be too many children? That’s like saying there are too many flowers.” St. Mother Teresa

    1. HEATHER KING Avatar
      HEATHER KING

      One of the things I found shocking was the bizarrely self-centered worldview…a total blindness to scientific facts (for people who are purportedly all for science, and full of “inclusive” compassion for one and all) in favor of the dystopian “We can see where this all ends, forced childbirth.” Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale” is apparently the bible here…Obviously neither Douthat, nor anyone else, is remotely suggesting forced childbirth. The invitation is simply to celebrate life, and to observe that when an entire culture lives in fear of and revulsion toward life, and especially towards children, dire consequences inebitably ensue. Love the Mother Teresa quote, thank you.

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