Last Friday was the Solemnity of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. These special days devoted to Our Lord, I’m like a proud mother, or wife, or child. As always with a notable liturgical feast, I was thus hyper-vigilant, excited, and fearful lest I lacked the strength and fortitude to make it to Mass.

So I woke at 3 am and, exhausted, went to the 9 am at St. Ambrose here in Tucson. Wept. “To whom else would we go, Lord?” I have no-one but Christ.

Oh, it is interesting: aging! Ever more invisible, ever more useless in the eyes of the world. Ever more do I live in the Sermon on the Mount. Ever more am I like Chesterton’s figure in Christian art: hollow-eyed, in exile, staring with a frantic intentness outward.

Which is fine and as it should be: as Flannery O’Connor said, “We are all blessed in our deprivations if we let ourselves be. I am really most “myself” (whatever that means) sitting in a pew by myself at Mass and crying. Most myself; most sure of what I believe and live and move and have my being for and in.

This time of year in the desert you have to get up and out the door super early as the temp can climb to the 90s by about 8. So on my walk this morning I was thinking about how maybe the worst thing about COVID was that it set us at each other’s throats.

I don’t want to be at anyone else’s throat and I pray no-one else is at mine. So I’m pondering, as I often am, how to further purify my heart. If I make any progress, I’ll let you know!

Meanwhile I am off Tuesday for a week in Detroit, a city that will be new to me. Rested up and excited.

13 Replies to “TO WHOM ELSE SHALL WE GO?”

  1. Anonymous says: Reply

    Heather- thank you dear one for your musings and heartfelt words. Weeping in church seems to be my strong suit. I’m unreasonably good at it these days. Overcome with the goodness of God and my need for his redeeming love often overwhelms me and the tears just glow. Nothing moves me more than deep abiding gratitude of Jesus. Ugh . I’m vacationing in the Bahamas now and went to this little Catholic Church in the heart of Nassau today. Getting there and back to my hotel was a bit tricky- but the service was so beautiful and joy filled. I felt like I was in a Sidney Poitier movie as he was native to the island and the Priest and Deacon both spoke with a similar accent and cadence of speech. Glorious. The priest’s homily ended with how we need the Sacred Heart of Jesus- to take in his heart into our own and to share his love with others- without reserve. Amen. Safe travels to Detroit and God Bless.

    1. HEATHER KING says: Reply

      Oh how beautiful! Together in the Eucharist, all of us, all over the world in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass…I’ve never been to the Bahamas but I can imagine that lilting accent…and I’ve certainly many times while traveling happened upon or more often searched out a church where I can attend Mass and often the experience is so deep…the traveler is far from home and at the same time never closer to Home…and there is always a place for us at the table…thanks so much for sharing this and safe return travels. Good to know of another weeper!

  2. Ingrid Christensen says: Reply

    You are so good at expressing these movements in our life. I have never been so moved as I was this year by the Sacred Heart. It pierced my heart and mind in a deeper way. It made more sense as to why that strange picture has thorns and a flame. As a former Protestant, it thought it was rather a strange and weird sight. We are all called to participate in the depth of Christ’s compassion and sacrifice, what a calling…

    1. HEATHER KING says: Reply

      I know, Ingrid, seems there was some extra deep feeling afoot this year around the Sacred Heart…I was of course also thinking of all the LA Catholics who were at Archbishop Gomez’s noon Mass that day at the downtown Cathedral in special reparations and prayer around what was to take place that night at Dodger Stadium…thorns, flame, and a beating heart…that about sums up our human condition!

  3. mariaruizscaperlanda says: Reply

    Thank you, dear Heather! Your honesty is disarming, both of which I pray to be ❤️ Sending love and abrazos from Oklahoma City!

    1. HEATHER KING says: Reply

      Thank you, Servant of God Maria of Oklahoma! I never think of you without also thinking of Blessed Stanley Rother…love and abrazos back…

  4. Timothy O'Regan says: Reply

    As always, I’m picking up on what you’re putting down. I dig you, Heather! With love and appreciation from Down Under. Tim

    1. HEATHER KING says: Reply

      Love that–picking up what I’m putting down! I was just looking at Australian National Parks online the other day…help! All the best to you and all those Down Under, Tim!

      1. Timothy O'Regan says: Reply

        If you come and visit Marcela & me in Brisbane, we will take you to some of those parks (and help fight off the wild critters)! We have a humble abode with a tiny spare room/office but you’re very welcome! ❤🇦🇺

        1. HEATHER KING says: Reply

          Oh dear God, watch out, Tim, you never know…things get dangerous when I wake in the middle of the night and start searching flights on Kayak…seriously, thank you so much, and I will keep your generous offer in mind. I have a fan club in Australia, I’m proud to say, of two–you and a dear young woman…

          1. Timothy O'Regan says:

  5. Sylvie Marie Grange says: Reply

    What a beautiful way of expressing a deep faith. Thank you for such a frank message.

    1. HEATHER KING says: Reply

      Thank you, Sylvie…I’m never sure where the words come from–but there they are…

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