“In addition to obedience and love, a third element particularly characteristic of Therese was added to these two, like a secret spice: to evade nothing, to meet the difficulties of daily routine, whether small or large, and to meet them not by a stoic act of will, but, as it were, with open arms. We must receive such hardships warmly, let them penetrate us, expose ourselves to them, taste them to the full without a shudder. This practice of non-resistance became for Therese noble tranquility.”–Ida Friederike Görres, The Hidden Face p. 299
“And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone–even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned.”
—Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 84
In the book of Genesis, Isaac dug wells for his people and livestock, and again and again neighbors muscled in on them. Again and again he moved away and started over. He chose a way that was tedious, laborious, expensive, and inconvenient, but in Isaac's way, nobody had to die, on either side.
Kirk
Yes, Kirk! Non-resistance is not passive, but a different–as you say, tedious, laborious, expensive and inconvenient–way of action. I pray to learn it better myself…
I am almost done with St. Faustina's Diary and am thinking of reading Therese's again. I have 5 kids, all 7 and younger and have been married for almost 9 years. My wife and I were homeschooling the oldest two kids until January when we put them in our parish school because it was simply too much for my valiant wife. About seven months before we put the kids in school, my wife, after almost eight years of thinking I was pretty close to Prince Charming, decided I was actually probably closer to Satan incarnate…. It has been the hardest, blackest year of my life. My wife will no longer pray with me but does still attend Sunday Mass although not Holy Communion. She suffered many traumas before we met and they were apparently somewhat suppressed until last year. Now I fear my children will never be taught the faith again by their mother. I work almost 10 hours a day and now teach them (mostly by my life) whatever I am able.
It seems I have entered one of the rings of hell -a nightmare that just keeps going. So your short post has caught my attention. I want to try it.
Please pray for me and my wife and our family. Anyone who sees this, I would appreciate your prayers. And, by the way, I told our Lord that if anyone prays for us, I would in turn offer my present sorrows for them.
thanks for the post
I'm so very sorry to hear of your struggles. I will certainly keep you in my prayers. If it is any help, I know someone who is a mother of 4 and had a similar breakdown when the children were young. With much prayer, courage, counselling and faithfulness on the part of her husband, the situation looks entirely different now and is full of hope. The children are all adults now and although there are still difficult times, God has worked miracles in many unexpected ways.
Every situation is different – it may take a long time but I will pray for courage and perseverance as God longs to bring healing and restoration to you and your wife. I will pray in particular for protection for you as the family is so often under attack from Satan. God bless you.
Lizzie and Heather, thank you from the depths of my soul…really, thank you. I am both a wounded person and sinner myself, and have thereby contributed to some of my good wife's present situation. She interprets even many of the nicest things I try to say and do as malicious and that I entered the relationship with her as only selfishness and hurt her. I can honestly say I have not acted out of those motives, ever. Selfishness and woundedness and sin -yes. But intentional maliciousness, no. And that is the suffering that God has laid on me: the very one I have loved more than anyone on earth, who I have given myself fully to, thinks I have done it out of selfishness and even cruelty! Pray that I accept well God's manner of purifying me and, that I learn to even love it, as the main post suggests.
In a month my wife will go through some special, intensive therapy (-therapy that I could also use for myself someday). I'm consoled to know there are two good Christians now praying for my wife and I. Wow, thanks again. It is a real example of our Lord's love for us through His mystical body!
p.s. I look forward to offering my situation, with all the love I can muster, for both of you…
I will keep your wife and family in my prayers. The evil one never rests! Your children can absorb your faith and perseverance. My husband of 31 years has never been to Mass, but my children see me with my Rosary reading the Bible, St. Therese is on my table….and more. I let the know who saved me and co tinues to be my way in all I go through. Blessings. Virgin Mary pray for us!!!
Thanks Diane, that is very consoling, but I must say I'm hoping for your husband's conversion! I will offer my day today for you and your husband and your family and future sorrows (and joys!) Tomorrow is the feast of St. Rita the mother, nun and saint! I have found her to be a powerful intercessor.
For now, praying in front of my wife can provoke her to anger so I try to wake up early or go to bed late, both of which can make her feel I don't love her enough. But I am confident God is making a way through this present mess. How can I not with such a group of good women praying for us? God bless you too -and your husband and family Diane. Thanks again
oops, I meant offer my future sorrows and joys…
That's really hard. I'm so sorry. And I'm so glad if the post helped…